“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
In the second part of the First Step, we admit the unmanageability of our lives as a direct result of our using or the effects of using by someone else. This admission allows us to see that our problems were not caused by people, places, things, circumstances, and/or events. The using was but a symptom, the real problem was ourselves.
Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)
The more I tried to control everything and everyone in my endless search for happiness, the more out of control and chaotic my life became. This admission allowed me to see that my happiness was dependant on people, places, things, circumstances, and/or events outside of myself to give meaning and satisfaction to my life. Today I know that happiness is an inside job.
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