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Step One of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Relapse is a process. It can be identified and prevented. Understanding our old patterns and the triggers that have led to our past relapses will help us to avoid relapses in the future. In the last exercise for this week, we will focus on describing our current program of recovery.
1. In your own words, define: rationalization and self-justification.
2. Write about each of your relapses in chronological order focusing on the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you experienced leading up to and during your relapse.
3. Describe your recovery program. What do you mean when you say you’re “working your program”? What specific actions do you take every day when working your program?
Listen to the following Speaker Tapes:
AA: Clancy – Disease of Perception
Alanon: Mary Pearl 4th tape in Series
The Stepworkshop Groups began on January 9, 2011. To start at the beginning of this Stepworkshop series, please go here. To do ALL the assignments and exercises with complete instructions, you must register and attend our online Stepworkshop. Go here to register.
Everyone from the recovery community is welcome to share their thoughts on the speaker tapes or with working Step One. Please share your experience, strength and hope with us in the Comments sections below.
Lest we forget:
*Honesty is the spiritual principle we practice in Step One.
**Honesty is the ability to be honest with yourself.
***Perk your ears up and listen closely to First Step concepts and key words during discussions meetings.
****At meetings, share about your experience with the First Step and its core principle honesty.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This week has been huge for me. Practicing the principle of honesty has made a big difference. I became completely honest in my workplace with regards to my recovery which brought me to realise how unhealthy my workplace is and that I was compromising my integrity and self respect by staying there. I was actually being subtly bullied at work but my guilt and people-pleasing attitudes were keeping me there. Now that my self confidence is growing by participating in this workshop, I am able to stand up for myself and look people in the eye. I haven’t done wrong and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. This guilt, people-pleasing and related behaviours have preceded relapses in the past. So breaking these habits and attitudes is a big step in my recovery, helping to prevent relapse.
If I am vigilant in my recovery and practicing the spiritual principles of the steps (Step 1 – Honesty) I will be actively fightly my disease and preventing relapse. I treasure this spiritual growth in my journey, it is part of my primary purpose. My primary purpose being to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. Thank you StepWorkshop!
Strap yourself in and get ready for the ride of your life!
Beyond your wildest dreams Olivia, it will be beyond your wildest dreams…
I have discovered that I must be vigilant in “watching” my behaviors, thoughts and attitudes in life after doing the relapse excercise. I realized that my “stinking thinking” creeps in before i know it. I never relapsed after I came into the program but that is not to say that I was not having relapses prior to, when I thought that I could control my drinking on my own. Whether I went for a day or two without drinking, I always reverted back to thinking that hmmmm, I don’t have a problem. I had always used alcohol to get me through any situation, so now I need to discover a way to cope with life, and guess what, life is not all that bad or hard.
There have been a few occasions in the last year that my mind told me that I really wanted a drink and I could not shake it for the life of me, but at least I was lucky enough to recognize it and did not pick up the drink. All boiled down to that HALT, which always gets my thought process turned around and all distorted faster than I can blink an eye. So I guess now I can share honestly at meetings that I did relapse prior to my first chip and didn’t even know it prior to this exercise….
Tracey
I have been sober since Jan 16th. I have missed the last 2 meetings but have kept up on my step work. I would like to share them.
Rationalization- providing a good reason for ones’ actions
Self Justification- making excuses for ones actions
It”s hard to explain my relapses because I have not stayed sober more than 60 day”s in 4 years. I drank 2 weeks out of my first treatment. I didn’t attend any meetings after treatment and I also went back to work the day after I got home from a 28 day program. I put myself in treatment, by the surprise of my family. I followed the instructions of my counselors, but never really related in groups. They wanted me to show emotions, but they never came. I met one person 1 could relate to there, and I believe she is still having a hard time staying sober too. Many of the girls would sit and talk, and I chose to go back to my room and do my assignments. I went home thinking and feeling good, but felt very strange once I got home. After a couple of months I was right back to where I was. With no support, as I didn’t seek any. Actually, I did go to a couple of meetings, suggested by a family friend and asked a lady there to take me to a woman”s meeting. The family friend only wanted to meet up with me afterwards, and I didn’t make an effort to find support. From there I would try and stay sober, just to hide my drinking. I was doing the most bizarre things to hide my drinking. I stayed like that for 2 years, start, stop, start,stop.
My brothers took me to treatment the second time, after I told them I was right back to where I was before and getting worse. I knew more about what I was doing this time and was determined to get the most out of the program. I spent time reading the big book, and doing everything they told me, once again. I was still in my routine (from home) I would get ready, do my work, read, and go to bed. I still could not get close to anyone in the program. I spent more time with therapists this time, and did really well trying to explain my struggles and how I felt. 28 days went fast, and I knew I should have stayed, as they suggested. I promised to go thru a 6 week aftercare, which I made it thru 5 weeks. They really started to work with me, on opening up, I had to share something about myself everyday. I also saw a therapist during this time, who I really enjoyed sharing with. After drinking once again I never went back. I still felt very off, at home. My family is very supportive but I never could explain how I felt.
Over the last year, I try and work the program into my routine, which is not working for me. I seem to able to change things for a few days and the routine comes back and I’m not working the program, which eventually leads me to drink.
3. Describe your recovery program. What do you mean when you say you’re “working your program”? What specific actions do you take every day when working your program?
I start out by reading the “24 hours A morning “please Prayer”. These I can do almost everyday. I attend a noon meeting. I try and treat everyone, the way I would want to be treated. I usually do pretty good during the day. I listen to speaker tapes on my way to and from work. During the evening I become very”discontented” and have a lot of anxiety over little things. I have looked at it and I have enough time to get things done, but I feel like I am rushed and over crowded. I have been really bad about working my program in the evenings.
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